Divorce is never easy for everyone. If you have children, one of the most challenging conversations you will ever have is talking to your children about your decision to dissolve your marriage.
When it is clear that divorce is inevitable, it is important that you let your kids know about it as soon as possible. The last thing you want is for your children to learn about your divorce from Uncle Roy or Aunty Mary.
Here are a few tips that can help you break the news about your divorce to your children.
Take time to prepare
First and foremost, it is absolutely important that both parents are on the same page even before sitting down with the children. This is where sound planning comes in. Remember, the ultimate goal is to assure your children that they are loved and cared for by both parents; and that while the relationship between you two is ending, nothing is changing as far as your love and care for them is concerned.
Do not drag the kids into your conflicts
You may be angry with each other, and you may have lots of unpleasant things to say about your soon-to-be-ex. However, never involve the children in your conflicts. Some parents have the tendency to badmouth their soon-to-be exes in the presence of their children. It is important to understand that this could be seen as parental alienation.
Besides impacting the children’s relationship with the other parent, parental alienation can also hurt your custody case should the matter come to the attention of the court. This is not the time to blame each other or give the kids the impression that “one parent is good and the other bad.”
Discussing your divorce with the kids is no small matter. The sooner you have this conversation, the better. Find out more about divorce so you can give your kids the information they need.